Oscar nominations if everything was NFL football


It’s Oscar season, and to be honest we’re feeling a little left out. Our entertainment writing brethren get to talk about nods, snubs and the miscarriage of cinema justice — while we’re stuck with arguments over whether Brock Purdy is elite.

The NFL has more than enough drama to have its own Academy Awards, so we sat down as a panel to agree on the best examples of each category in the sport.

Best picture: Football (Taylor’s Version)

Chicago Bears v Kansas City Chiefs

Photo by David Eulitt/Getty Images

It’s not for everyone, but there’s no double that Football (Taylor’s Version) took the NFL by storm this year.

Best actor: Skip Bayless for Throwing My Cowboys’ Gear Away or Frustrations With An Automatic Trash Can

A scintillating performance that starts being the worst acting job of the year, and then becomes a tale of one man’s struggles with technology.

Best supporting actor: Dom DiSandro for Big Dom’s Wild Ride

NFL: DEC 25 Giants at Eagles

Photo by Kyle Ross/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Everyone needs a director of security who is willing to fight anyone, and everyone for his team.

Best director: Mike McDaniel, The Swaggy Nerd

Dallas Cowboys v Miami Dolphins

Photo by Megan Briggs/Getty Images

Mike McDaniel’s Miami glow up has turned him into a weird poker player.

International film: Role Player’s Delight by the weird British NFL fans

This horror movie caught us all off guard and rocked us to our core.

Visual effects: The Detroit Lions, for Sam LaPorta’s trick play

Just beautiful work here.

Costume design: New York Jets players Jermaine Johnson, Will McDonald, and Bryce Huff for A Naruto Halloween

The Akatsuki have never looked so good.

Animated short: CJ Stroud and the Texans, Squabble

You know a celebration is good when everyone in the NFL starts doing it as soon as you debut it. The Squabble is now synonymous with Stroud and the Texans.

Animated feature: Miami Dolphins for Rollercoaster

This captured the childlike glee and imagination of a day at the theme park in a way no other celebration did.

Editing: The Lions and Chargers for Splicing Austin Ekeler into a Lions sandwich

Detroit Lions v Los Angeles Chargers

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

Putting this together is takes craft and skill. Really captured the anguish of the moment.

Best Makeup and hair: Andy Reid in Journaux d’une Moustache Gelée (Diaries of a Frozen Mustache)

It looks so real that it might as well be real ice.



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